Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
