Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
