Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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