Dual....:-)
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
