Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
