Yo dont text me then not text me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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