His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
