apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
