she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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