ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
