hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
