Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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