Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
