arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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