I think my vagina is haunted
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
