I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
