I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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