all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
