my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
