So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
