If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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