I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
