I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
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