i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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