The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
