I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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