in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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