actually, I'm a sock model
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
