Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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