This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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