We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
