I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
