I cannot find my penis.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
