I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
