god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
