So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
