So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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