About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
