Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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