He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
