i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
