hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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