i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
