Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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