Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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