So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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