What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
