I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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