I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I supernannyed him into submission
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
