My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I currently don't understand fingers.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
