Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
