We're like a lot better than the average bears
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This is my gift to your gina
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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