At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
