ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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